Theresa always talked about her ten thousand angels and how they helped her. She had an abundance of angel statues, paintings, and pictures in her home. Each one told Theresa its name when she received them as gifts from her friends, family and other places she found them.
She found a special angel statue, with a little girl at her side, at an auction. She was quickly drawn to it because of her broken hand. Theresa said, “This angel is like me … broken!” It originally came from a church, and now it has come to live with Theresa. The angel told Theresa her name was Cricket.
Theresa had a “God To-Do Box.” This box was on her desk. She would write requests for God to take care of things she could not handle by herself and then put them in the box. In January 2005, in another email she wrote:
“I didn’t know this note was gonna be this hard to write, but it sure is! I guess my expectations were too high again. Even though I live, and am very thankful for each day I have, I was hoping to hear different words from my doctor. I have been off chemo for my stage 4 breast cancer that spread to my bones since September 2004, because the chemo had damaged my heart 50-60 percent. That means my heart is only pumping 40-50 percent and may cause congestive heart failure (CHF).
I understand many people have CHF, so I’m just another person with CHF. I had been on chemo since 2002. The cancer in my body refuses to go away. I am still as full of cancer in my bones as I was in July of 2002. Currently, I have weaned myself off all medication … that’s good. I continue to seek out alternative health ideas that will help me to continue living for the next 18 years or so. I guess I’ll just have to do it WITH cancer!
I know the word for me for 2005 is “acceptance.” Accepting all the daily activities that I can no longer do and knowing that I must settle for less “fun” in my life. That’s OK. I can do this. It is just a sad feeling for me, I know there are so many people who have many more challenges than I do, and they continue to rise above their challenges every day.
I’m good. I wake up every morning with a smile and thank God for another new day. Some of my difficulties are that my energy doesn’t last long. I get short of breath just walking, cannot stand for long, cannot sit in a straight chair, unable to focus on anything for long, cannot bend over to any degree without back pain, and cannot do many other activities. So, I am accepting to do everything in “little” bits: sit, take naps, type on the computer, drive, talk, laugh, and enjoy—the best as I can—the life God is giving me.
My son Andy “Mud” continues to live with me and assists me daily with all my needs. I am so thankful to have him in my home, although he’s planning to move out, I believe, this summer. He is a young man (26) and feels the need to be on his own again and away from Mom. I can respect that feeling and will be just fine if he moves out. I want to thank each one of you for ALL your prayers, thoughts, emails, cards, and kindness, support, and help you’ve given in any way. I believe that without them I would not be alive on this earth today. Your prayers and thoughts for the continuance of my life are always welcomed.
I have added two more wheels to my motorcycle-quadricycle (Yeager kit). I cannot ride just two wheels anymore, as I lose my balance just standing or walking. I’m excited to see spring and summer arrive, so I can let the wind blow my hair. I really have some hair again! It’s so COOL!
May God Bless and the Angels Watch Over US